Shapes, Stories, Stuff

Interesting and hilarious article from gizmodo. Personally, i think this is true in some way…here goes:

07:36:04: Application — Gmail
User reads 1 new emails
Keywords: dinner, match.com, reply, date

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male/Female

07:43:38: Application — Search
Search Term: italian restaurant upper east side manhattan
Search Term: italian restaurant upper east side manhattan cheap
Search Term: creampies

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker

08:31:17: Application — Gmail
User sends 1 new email
Keywords: dinner, meet, Ford Fiesta

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income

08:40:03: Application — Search
Search Term: vern troyer sex tape

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist

11:01:12: Application — Google Reader
Feed read: Gizmodo
Feed read: Kotaku
Feed read: Cute Overload
Feed read: Gothamist
Feed read: Gizmodo
Feed read: Kottke
Feed read: Boing Boing
Feed read: Fleshbot

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller

12:14:30: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: SuperCuts
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate

12:59:08: Application — Mobile Search
Search Term: slimming pants

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure

13:01:56: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: H&M
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy

13:42:12: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: Florist
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative

14:19:31: Application — Search
Search Term: dating tips
Search Term: first dates
Search Term: halitosis cure
Search Term: bang bus

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin

14:55:00: Application — GCal
Reminder: Sales Meeting in Five Minutes Sent via: Text

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder

17:13:49: Application — Google Reader
Feed read: Gizmodo
Feed read: Fleshbot

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder, Porn Addict

18:51:10: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Start Location: Current Location
End Location: Olive Garden

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian

19:15:03: Application — Mobile Gmail
User sends 1 new email
Keywords: date, forgot, still here

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Boring Job Holder, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, Pathetic

19:20:41: Application — Mobile Gmail
User reads 0 new emails

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, So Pathetic

19:26:11: Application — Mobile Gmail
User reads 0 new emails

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, So Pathetic, Desperate

19:31:55: Application — Mobile Gmail
User reads 0 new emails

Current Demographic Profile: Single Male New Yorker, Low Income, Midget Fetishist, Cubicle Dweller, Cheapskate, Insecure, Trendy, Unimaginative, Virgin, Porn Addict, Fat, Not Italian, So Pathetic, So Desperate

19:40:21: Application — Google Maps Mobile
Search Term: Strip Club
Near: Current Location

Current Demographic Profile: Benny Goldman

I guess I won’t have any reason to upgrade my ipod classic… Now, if the Zune was only available here in the country…